How To Handle Disrespectful Kids – With Dignity

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL

KIDS

WITH DIGNITY

In today’s world many children are being reared by parents who want better for their kids than they had it as children. Understanding how to handle disrespectful kids, with dignity may prove to be the biggest flex you can give your family.

It is a solid and sweet vibe to be in harmony and connection with the child(ren) that you rear, however it is imperative that you maintain a balance of appropriate boundaries in terms of how they learn their impact on others.

How to handle disrespectful kids

To negate any misbehavior in your childs dial in, is to enable them to learn that they are free to act and behave as they wish with no consequence. This is breeding ground for extreme narcissism and will prove to be a huge deficit to the adult they learn to become.

Understanding too, that you being a parent is not just a popularity contest.

Real human governance tools is the work of an invested parent. It can be tricky however, because many parents are they themselves unaccountable in their own behavioiur and may be recycling misaligned conditioning from their own childhoods.

An education model of how to handle disrespectful kids with dignity was not implemented or taught anywhere in education. In fact, my mother and father used to tell me stories of being paddled on the backside in school if they stepped out of line.

Physical abuse to deviate undesirable behaviours is the WORST and WEAKEST way you can convey that inappropriate behaviour is not allowed. The contradiction is so obvious, no further explanation is needed.

Common decency

You are the ambassador to your child.

You do not own them.

You are there to rear them so that they become adept at being in full ownership of themselves.

If you, as an adult, have no education in taking ownership over the governance of yourself then this posts here can prove a good education for your arsenal of self education.

There are many dynamic factors existing today that influence the energy in the home you create for your family.

Pop culture of handling disrespectful kids

Pop culture (movies, music, cartoons, internet sites and TV media) and an inordinate amount of screen time lends itself to influences that are rooted in glorifying misaligned, disrespectful and even cruel behaviour towards others.

This kind of conditioning is very influential to a childs psychology and filters into the manner in which they govern themselves. When you know how to handle disrespectful kids with dignity you are winning as a parent because you have a lot of energy to field in terms of your child’s influences.

Another deficit to this aspect of living is the normalized stress that is permeated in the lives of most families with two working parents and limited time for connected and dignified time, space and attention to the development and well-being of the growing child.

This puts a good amount of responsibility upon the educators and guidance they receive in school.

Being an invested parent is a win for everyone, across the board.

Healthy relating

WHEN THE CHILD SEEMS TO HAVE GONE ROGUE IN THEIR BEHAVIOUR

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL KIDS – WITH DIGNITY

Reactive parenting is a low feel.

Being proactive about your parenting dial in is your biggest game changer.

Being proactive means being knowledgeable.

If your child is exhibiting undesirable behaviours, then rather than be judgmental, critical and punitive about their behaviours, it is a much more empowered feel to gain an understanding of your childs experience and what is going on with them.

To consciously and proactively guide your children in empowerment rather than deplete their sense of esteem and self by reactive judgement are two very different parenting approaches and yield a very different conditioning in your own child.

Understand that push back behaviours, disrespect, rudeness and combativeness are all a part of adolescence and human evolution.

Children who push boundaries and push away from you are in a process of their own individuation. Finding and discovering their own identities outside of the influences in which they find themselves and discovering their autonomy within themselves.

This is not an easy process for a child to undergo and is demonstrated as such in their behaviours.

The undesirable behaviours that you may be witnessing and enduring in your child may be a result of them being ill-equipped in their problem solving skills and aptitude to embrace their own autonomy.

Often children will attempt to do things the difficult and most challenging way until they are adorned with the skills to handle themselves with more authority and healthy expression of that which they field within themselves.

The honouring and uncovering of oneself is a life long process. Your job as a parent is to be an ambassador to your child and impart to them the knowledge and skills they require maintaining peace within themselves and take accountability for their impact on the world and people around them.

Change is the only constant in life so it is the natural order of things, however if your childs ill-mannered behaviours have been entrenched for a good long while then change can prove quite challenging.

This is where commitment to persistence and consistency are your most optimal approach to implement a change in how you manage your child.

Your ideas matter

Setting boundaries and holding your child accountable can happen in any moment of any day as a parent no matter the habits or allowances that have been able to take root up to this point.

If you worry that your child will not like your actions to teach them accountability and respect then you have to understand that this is an integral part of being a responsible parent.

Parenting is not a popularity contest so be prepared to be disliked in some moments.

It demonstrates you are doing your job effectively so long as how you do it is done too, in the energy of respect and dignity to the entirety of who they are.

It is natural that your kids will feel anger towards you when you set limits they do not like.

Here are 5 tips you can dial in as a parent for a proactive good feel in managing your child(rens) undesirable behaviour(s).

 

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL CHILDREN

WITH DIGNENITY

1. BEING PREPARED

2. BEING DETERMINED

3. TAKE IT NEUTRALLY, NOT PERSONALLY

4. AVOIDING POWER STRUGGLES

5. BEING AN AMBASSADOR OF EDUCATION AND LEADERSHIP

1. BEING PREPARED

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL KIDS – WITH DIGNITY

As a parent it is of good value to be prepared for the natural human challenges that come with rearing a child. Understand that some level of combative and rude behaviour is a natural axiom to developing adolescence.

If it has happened before and is repeated, then being prepared proactively to how you will handle it to circumvent such instances is very empowering for your relationship dynamics. Implementing and stating boundaries and being firm in the non-negotiable movement from the boundaries of appropriate human behaviour.

If disrespectful behaviour has had time to gain momentum and tolerance then it will take a committed consistency to realign the child to an appropriate pattern of behaviour.

Love is handling disrespectful kids with dignity

State the level of expectation in terms of desirable behaviour and do not waiver from that standard, nor do you engage in a power struggle with the child. You are the ambassador and you delineate the rules of the home and the appropriate guiding of developmental behaviour.

When you firmly state a boundary and a consequence to pushing the boundaries of dignified human relating respect, then once you do it once, it is easier to do it again. When you are consistent your child(ren) will learn that they can no longer implement those behaviours to get what they need. It will cause them to find alternate, more appropriate ways to express themselves to you. You are the demonstrator of these tools too.

Every family is different and every person has their own standards of relating.

Handling disrespectful kids with dignity

As a parent you decide what you deem is appropriate in keeping with dignified relating.

The child demonstrates an undesirable behaviour.

Check yourself and your own regulation of internal feels & aim for dispassionate neutrality in your M.O.

You state the boundary and consequence to the behaviour in loving, firm and connected communicative fashion.

Own who you are

Ex. “When I told you to clean your room and take out the garbage you were rude to me with your words and your actions (state the FACTS of their behaviour only in a non emotional state) Your room being clean is your responsibility and your contribution to the home is to take out the garbage. If you are rude to me again about doing what is naturally your responsibility then I will give you the task of doing all the dinner dishes after the family is eating every night for a period of three months. Are you and I clear about the expectation of your not being rude and disrespectful to me? Are you clear of the consequence that will be put upon you if you respond to me again as you did in that rude and disrespectful manner? You owe me an apology for “

Ensure the child acknowledges their understanding so that there is no room for lack of clarity. This kind of implementation enables self responsibility in the child. They are held accountable for their own behaviour and the management of how they express themselves. This tool is extremely valuable to adorn your child with for their own sense of empowerment and self management. To the core of the human experience, nobody ever really wants to be a dick in life.

If the behaviour happens again, you follow through on the consequence and keep consistent in its implementation. Consistency transmutes any ingrained allowances that have put your relational dynamics off course.

Stay persistent, firm, clear and KIND in your delivery of your words.

How you dial in your response is how they also determine the scope of beliefs about their worth, so be a good human and guide them without any punitive or guilt induced energy.

Be Kind

2. BEING DETERMINED

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL KIDS – WITH DIGNITY

 

Habitual patterns of relating can become a way of life. In fact, habits make up ninety percent of our lives as humans, so if you want to shift the relational dynamics you have to engage a determined mindset. At the onset of this new change of consistent implementation of immediate consequence to undesirable behaviours it may prove to challenge you emotionally and mentally. Remain vigilant and determined maintaining your prepared consistency so as to yield a momentum that will eventually gain you rewards.

Instruction training learning

When things begin to change it is a most rewarding feeling.

Children are blank canvases and will adopt that which is displayed to them in their environment and that is the most influential to their emotional and psychological experience.

It may seem difficult to you to set firm boundaries and adhere to a standard of conduct with committed consistency, but in doing so, you are offering a demonstration to your children and this behaviour will be learned and ingrained within them. Kids do not learn through what you say.

They cognitively see what you do and how you behave and they emulate that.

Be wise with self awareness about you dial in your vibe. A masterful, calm and respectful but firm demonstration of your own state of being is pure gold for imparting onto your developing young ones.

Peace within

3. TAKING IT NEUTRALLY, NOT PERSONALLY

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL KIDS – WITH DIGNITY

Your own self-regulation is huge in terms of your ability to remain neutral during emotionally heightened experiences and conflict with your kids.

Reminding yourself of one The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a beautiful mindset to encompass. Having a comprehensive understanding within yourself that fully acknowledges your child’s undesirable and offensive behaviour is about their individuation and not about you.

If you have unhealed wounds within yourself then doing your own work of taking accountability for your own state of reactivity is what peaceful and healthy relating is made of.

Rather than get into a power struggle with your child with your personal reactions of hurt or anger be very neutral, clear and direct with your child. Acknowledge their undesirable behaviour, acknowledge it is not appropriate and then disengage from them .

Being a consistent parent in terms of an expectation of dignified and respectful treatment is not a popularity contest.

If your child does not appear to like you as a result of your consistent and upheld boundaries then rest assured that you are doing them a great service for their own sense of responsibility and management to their impact on others as they grow and expand in the world.

The esteem of which you carry within will determine yielding your success.

You are the biggest influencer in your childs life, so remember that in your own behaviours you demonstrate to them.

4. AVOIDING POWER STRUGGLES

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL KIDS – WITH DIGNITY

 

If you have taken the bait and engage in a power struggle with a combative or misbehaving child, then you have already lost the plot. If your child is coming at you with shade, rude and aggressive language and behaviour, you must be the adult. You have to engage your inner witness of maturity and awareness by having an inner dialogue that you are NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

When you take your childs behaviour personally and react in combative and resistant way with your own emotional or verbal distress, then you are negating to demonstrate aligned conflict resolution.

Getting into a pissing match with your children when they are acting like little aggressors only teaches them that pissing matches are all good.

Stop and be a good parent

No.

The goal is to teach your child an appropriate modus operandi of behaviour.

Once you have stated clearly the boundary, the consequence to the boundary and then disengage, ensure you have a follow up conversation to solidify the love feels the child will need to feel when they are in acknowledgment of themselves and their own behaviour.

There is nothing worse in life then being a person who is a mental, emotional stain to those around you. No one in their natural humanness want to be that person in their skin so this awareness of yours ensures you do not impede your children with this kind of self identity as an acceptable manner of a being in the world. Do your work to know yourself and then do the work to rear a child to know themselves. In dignified and respectful relating.

 

5. BEING AN AMBASSADOR TO EDUCATION AND

LEADERSHIP

HOW TO HANDLE DISRESPECTFUL KIDS – WITH DIGNITY

As your childs biggest influence and guide it is your duty and your responsibility having brought them into the world to educate them how to behave respectfully, manage their emotional states and take responsibility for how they themselves show up in the world.

If you can remember that your role includes being an ambassador to their lives.

This means you are the teacher, the guide and the boundary setter.

You teach them how to behave, you guide them in their behaviours and then you encourage them in their aptitude of human learning.

Teach kids with dignity

Positive reinforcement in language and action when they are succeeding and clear and non-negotiable boundaries when they appear to be going rogue are the optimal dial in for healthy leadership in relational dynamics.

Being consistent and congruent in your own actions and behaviours is the stage you want to set for the kind of influence you are imparting to your children and their learning development.

Your end goal to being and ambassador to your childs thrive is competently giving them the necessary skills to be able to be functioning, thriving and independent adults that make good decisions in terms of how they handle themselves.

To be able to manage their emotions and psychology enables them to be able to go out and be independent financially and personally.

Love your kids

This is the best kind of leadership so that you can feel secure and at peace that they have been given the tools to be equipped to deal in the world being a respectful and balanced individual in the world.

It is in the first 8 years of a childs life where their conditioning is set so this is the space in which your boundaries and learning will have the most impact.

Change is the only constant in life and can easily be implemented at any stage in anyone’s life however instilling education and leadership from the get go of childs development is the empowerment a child deserves in the dignity of who they are at the onset of their life experience.

Unconditional love and acceptance, empowering language, supportive and self-aware leadership and consistency with ownership and accountability.

Golden veins for a childs worth within and a score for you in the parenting win department.

www.smoothpoops4kids.org
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