Kids and Emotions – Teaching and Modelling Emotional Intelligence

Kids, Adults & Emotions

When we are little, we are presented the world and it is up to us to decipher.

Our parents or guardians play a very influential role in our ability to make sense of our discernments.

Emotional intelligence is a skill set that can be developed and nurtured at any age for any human being who has the capacity to feel and make sense of their inner world.

New findings and incredible discoveries have uncovered the infinite possibilities that are available to us through the power of our own choice and discernment of world view in terms of our capabilities and potential we have as electromagnetic beings of light and energy.

Emotions are a form of energy that circulates through our energy systems as a tool to keep us informed about how we show up in our daily lives.

Our Emotions Are Energy Within Us, In Motion.

They are powerful, impactful and informational and yet, ask me what one looks like and I can tell you it is not a tangible item but one of human governance and expression.

We can deny them, suppress them, expose them and be taken away by them, but one thing we cannot do with them, is ignore them.

No Matter our Age, our Experience, our Country of Origin, Emotion is an Energy that impacts our State of Being.

All of Us.

Having a conscious relationship to your emotions models for your children the same vibe.

Your actions, your state of being and the manner in which you speak and respond to people and situations are some of the most impactful teachings you distill onto your children.

When kids see that you feel angry and you say so, and then watch you calmly handle your heated emotion of anger, than it teaches them to do the same.

If kids see that you feel angry and you lose all control of yourself and start screaming like a banshee, than that is not a good vibe at all and I will tell you from personal experience that any kind of toxic stress that is presented into a young child’s experience and is ill repaired or worse yet, continual and normalized, will have severe and detrimental effects on that child’s ability to live a balanced and peaceful life in adulthood.

If you need help with anger or inability to connect with your children lovingly, than please dial that in sooner rather than later as it has an exponential impact on the well-being of your child’s psychology and ability to thrive.

We R Made 2 Express Our Emotions & Share In The Expression of Our Emotions.

Emotion is The Energy That Guides a Good Portion of our Motives & Choices.

This Aspect of Our Humanity Is An Intrinsic Part of Our Human Physiological Systems.

We Are Made To Emote.

Understanding and having intelligence about this aspect of our humanity is hugely advantageous and hugely empowering.

When we understand the nature of our emotions, the fact that they are fluid and are in motion and are essentially signals for us to know what is good for us and what we need to protect ourselves from as well as how to rightfully guide ourselves.

Having an awareness and intelligence about this aspect of our human beingness is pure empowerment for the self and for your kids.

Emotions impact our systems when they cannot complete their cycle of expression.

Emotional ignorance and neglect can prove to cause great stress and imbalance to your energetic body.

Stress in children yields systems that are not regulated and therefore, their output and waste will be indicative of that impact.

U May Wonder Why Emotions is a Topic 4 a Gastrointestinal Health Website 4 Kids but I Would Ask, How Can They Not Be?

A children’s hospital once misdiagnosed our little guy and for a week during that misdiagnosis I had to contemplate the loss of my child. I lost 7ibs in 7days. I couldn’t eat and I was just expelling waste due to the stress of the emotional impact that news had on me. This further solidified for me that our bodies natural functions are inextricable linked to our emotional states.

Physical illness is directly correlated with emotional imbalance.

To treat an ailment as purely physical is negating to include the impact our energetic system of emotions has on the energy in our bodies.

When you are angry, that is not a mental sensation or thought.

That is an actual physiological response, initially incorporated into your system to keep you protected.

Your body has a response and if you are not one in alignment with your emotional intelligence than such powerful energy of emotion coursing through your veins can prove to influence your actions and behaviour.

Emotional intelligence is a good vibe.

Education of your body and that of your kids systems is a huge win for life.

List of Basic Emotions and Healthy Avenues of Expression

Emotions are vast and many labels have been created to denote the vastness of this aspect of our beings. Many internet searches yield different results in terms of what the basic emotions are.

For my experience, I see the range as sub categories for dwelling in either Fear or Love.

For our purposes here and to keep things simple.

A psychologist by the name of Paul Ekman has been instrumental in the distilling knowledge and comprehension of human emotions and has been considered the best human lie detector with the work he has uncovered with humans, their relationship to emotion and the expressions of facial and body language that are informational in terms of perceiving someone experiencing a range of emotion.

Gaia.com has a very dialed in video about emotion being energy in motion. For anyone looking to expand their consciousness, this is a great resource for enlightening and educational information.

Starting our kids out with a worldview in which they can govern themselves with empowerment regardless of the harsh aspects of this world.

Rather than be a victim of circumstance and reactive in emotional responses, we can consciously choose to educate and empower, not only our children, but ourselves, with information and tools to navigate this aspect of our shared humanity.

A Colour Chart is a Good Vibe 2 Share as a Visual Tool with Your Kids.

Colours of Emotion – Teaching and Modeling Emotional Intelligence

Teaching your kids to associate colour with an emotion can be an empowering way for them to express and understand their emotions.

My dude sits with our little dude and goes through with him feeling states that relate to a story they are reading together and asks my son what colour he thinks the feeling would relate to. (It’s a super good vibe and I deem it one of the sweetest things ever)

For example,”Bob is super sad, what colour do you think Bob is feeling inside?”

Then my son will say “Blue”

Now when my son demonstrates a feeling of sadness, we ask him, what colour are you right now? He can than relate the emotion with a colour based on his understanding of the characters feelings which he can equate within himself.

This enables processing mentally of his bodily and emotional experience and thereby, be empowered in Mind and Heart in understanding his emotional body – thus being able to navigate and guide it forward with empowerment.

This Exercise Alone Creates a Conscious & Connected Relationship to Your Child with Their Emotions.

I have seen grown adults who lack emotional intelligence and are reactive to any and all situations around them or cultivate unhealthy emotional attachments or situations due to their misunderstanding of their own emotional intelligence and well-being.

It is important to understand and to teach our kids that our emotions are fundamental guidance system to how we are to direct ourselves.

If your child is angry, than teaching them that anger is okay, it is a feeling state of protection of oneself but that expressing your words and actions while experiencing anger is an unproductive and destructive manner in which to do so.

The more a human is allowed to express their anger using physical expression, than the more that behaviour is reinforced and wired into them as an appropriate avenue in which to express their anger.

Anger is one of our strongest emotions and having the capacity to express it healthily is not only advantageous, but imperative for peace.

Awareness of emotional states and labeling them as such with a tangible colour, object or tool that helps your child correlate emotion with an identifiable manner in which to process and release them.


Below is a HANDY PRINTABLE SHEET that you can use with your child to have them associate a colour with 1 of 6 Basic Emotions.

handy printable sheet

Weekly activities or even daily implementation while your child is exhibiting or expressing emotion will allow your child the space to begin to develop his own sense of emotional intelligence and enable a positive and empowering relationship to be formed within so that the child is able to feel in control and have the tools to understand and navigate their own experience.

For instance, here, my son is clearly green with envy that this is not our ride…


Tools 2 Help Kids HandleTheir Emotional Energy

Empowering them with knowledge and invested, loving and nurturing attention will enhance their Life Force and their relationship to it. We need not be in the genius categories to know which is the better option for the longevity and thrive vibe of your kids.

If a child behaves poorly due to an intense emotional reaction, ensure you delineate the difference between the child’s undesireable behaviour and having the emotion.

An example might be “I feel angry sometimes too and that’s okay to feel angry, it is how we are made, but throwing a toy across the room and smashing it against the wall is not okay.”

Letting a child know that what he/she feels is okay allows them to feel safe experiencing the emotion, but not correcting a maladaptive behaviour in response the experience of emotion is where behavioural issues will become habitual.


Here Are a List of Tools That You Can Teach 2 & Implement With Your Kid(s).

1. VALIDATE & LABEL

You can support your kids in terms of their emotional health by first and foremost, affirming and validating their emotions.

When you diminish a child due to their expression of emotion then that is not a thrive vibe for your kid.

 It will only impede their ability to express and navigate their emotional states productively and further debilitate their understanding and empowerment in terms of this aspect of their Being.

Asking a child to ignore their feelings, or telling a child their feelings are not genuine is asking them to deny an intrinsic part of their Life Force.

When you see your child having an emotional response to a situation, then affirm and validate their emotion by saying:

 “You look very angry. Are you feeling angry right now?”

When you label the emotion your child is feeling while they are feeling it, then it further helps to solidify their understanding of what they are experiencing and creates a relationship to the feeling of the emotion and the mental association for comprehending what that feeling is in their body. Awareness training to be a repsonsive, rather thank reactive participant in life, is

2. BREATHING

Our emotions are a system of information and a method to navigate and govern this system is through our breathing.

Breathing is one of our most underused and underestimated super powers.

You breathe automatically thanks to your subconscious and divinely designed human body, but when you develop a conscious relationship with your own breath, than you are in governance of your state of being.

Our sister site www.thegoodvibelife.com has a great post on different breathing techniques to neutralize the fight or flight response.

Teaching your kids to take 3-6 deep breaths at the onset of intense emotional energy in their body will allow them to regulate and allow them to process their emotions with more calm in their systems.

Breathing through the Heart is a part of what is known as the Freeze Frame technique – one of many delineated in “The Heartmath Solution” The HeartMath Institute has done groundbreaking work in terms of the coherence and efficacy of our human hearts. The breath is in concert with this beautiful aspect of our physiology.

Emotional regulation is exactly that – REGULATION. Teaching your kids basic physiological tools that are free and at their disposal no matter where they find themselves are tools that will empower them and ones they will use for their lifetime.

Teaching a child to understand how to calm themselves and regulate themselves emotionally is extremely uplifting and is really empowering for any human. These tools prove especially so for the little ones, where life can seem overwhelming and all encompassing as it is being little and all.

3. COUNTING

If you see your child is angry you implement a counting system whereby you affirm the childs emotion of anger and then you require that the child count with you and to only stop counting when he/she feels like the emotional energy has diminished.

Remember too, that when you validate your child’s feelings, that in it itself will provide some immediate relief for your child.

When a child is experiencing an intense emotion, it only proves to help and support them when you identify with them that you understand what they are experiencing and thus, you are able to help guide them.

You can then denote the colour that anger incites – red like hot boiling lava – then you suggest counting to one hundred to cool the lava, and then you proceed to count with your child. Once you have both counted to one hundred, readdress your child’s state of being and see if they are more receptive to instruction from you.

3. EXERCISE/BODY MOTION

The body and the mind are inextricably linked. When the body is in an emotional upheaval it is usually at the hands of thinking or ruminating on an event or experience that is long over but that had an emotional impact that remained. A great way to teach your kids to transmute the energy of emotions that get stuck and prove to linger is through movement and strength training.

As a person who has navigated and healed a neural stress disorder, I have experiential proof of the benefits that exercise has on maintaining equilibrium in your mental and emotional states.

An active body that is tested and trained, is directly correlated with mental acuity and emotional intelligence.

A sedentary child cannot learn to move in their body or gain the appropriate proprioception skills that are needed to understand your body movement in space.

daily exercise for kidsThis leads to emotional regulation in terms of how a chlld perceives themselves and their abilities and effects the esteem of their capabilities.

Running, jumping and dancing are all forms in which you can get your child to express the intensity of their emotions healthily.

Rather then practice the emotion of anger through destructive means of hitting, yelling or breaking things, showing your child that taking a 10 minute run around the block in a heightened state of emotion is a great way to diminish and channel that powerful energy productively.

4. ARTWORK

As an artist, and a person who has healed through the somatics of drawing and the free expression of creativity I fully endorse and have witnessed the transmutational power that artwork can provide to a child and even an adult’s experience.

My son has made me artworks with expressions of love, gratitude, anger, disappointment, appreciation, sadness and some just really cool inventions and designs.

An exploration of emotions through art can be as simple as a white sheet of paper and few coloured pencils.

expression through creativity

Kids are neural wonders and when you encourage them to express their experience creatively and with no direction, the results are fascinating and very informational.

You can gain many insights into a child by encouraging them to create freely through artwork and express their emotions and processing by way of a productive, peaceful and creative channel.

5. MUSIC

Music is vast and comes in a range of tones. melodies and vibrations.

Music can transport us to happy or sad memories and inspire in us the deepest of emotions. Using music as an avenue of release or calming is a simple and very effective method to navigate our emotions.

music is a tool

Dancing out a low vibe or simply listenting to binaural beats that provide coherence in the brain and body, music (frequency dependent) is a vibe that thrives.

LIstening to music that is aggressive, dark and infused with racism and hate are indications of your vibrational frequency and your mental set point.

The suggestion of music in this respect is to calm, engage, uplift and release.

There is a beautiful song called “Weightless” by Marconi Union.

Try it yourself and gauge the efficacy of such a practice in your own experience.

6.MEDITATION & YOGA

Our friends over at www.thegoodvibelife.com have a dialed in post about the benefits of mediation that you can read here:meditation calms the system

A daily meditaiton practice of just even 5 minutes to start will begin to acclimate your child to a more conscious awareness of their own body and mind.

The healing capabilities one can access through the practice of meditation and different brain states is remarkable.

In this fast paced, technological world, it is an act of bravery and deep personal self love to be able to take 10-15 minutes of a 24hour day to gift to you the benefit of sitting silently, mindfully and still in the company of oneself for inner peace and empowered regulation.

7. CALM DOWN/SOOTHING KIT

This is a good vibe that you and your little one can dial in together.

Creating an emotions kit that your little one can turn to at anytime they are in their own home space for their emotional wellness.

A little box or chest that they keep with cuddly stuffies, or somatic toys like rubix cubes or block puzzles that engage the focus of their Mind & Body in tandem, a book about emotions, reminder cards or hand written notes from you that affirm their worth and value, and iPod for music only with different Playlists based on different emotional states.

Above are seven tools my partner and I have naturally taught our little guy as avenues of coping skills for self governance and expression. Modeling the appropriate behaviour in terms of your own emotional energy as a parent also has a huge impact on your child’s emotional processing.

Affirming your child’s abilities and capabilities as well as demonstrating to them that they can ask for help allows the child to feel empowered to govern their own being but knowing that they are not alone in doing so.

When we invest time and attention into the entirety of our own experience with emotion and be open and communicative about it, it enables us as adults to impact our kids physiologically, psychologically, socially and emotionally to their benefit.

17 thoughts on “Kids and Emotions – Teaching and Modelling Emotional Intelligence

  1. Wow, this is some great information here and makes total sense. I know for a fact I make most of my decisions when my emotions are high, some are bad especially when I’m angry, but when I’m happy or curious, I find some amazing new things and opportunities open their door to me. I love this information so much, I’m going to share it with the world.

    1. Hi Brandon!

      I am fond of your energetic and enthusiastic comment. Made me smile dude and please do share if you found value!

      Many thanks & super amounts of peace & prosperity to you!

      -Bex

  2. So much detailed information on emotions and I must confess that I have learnt quite well. Being a mom myself, teaching emotions to kids can ve of a more daunting task if the proper approach is not taken. Kids tend to be unpredictable while letting out their emotions and if not well interpreted, could lead to one doing exactly opposite of what they are expressing. This is even more difficult when it comes to the introverted kind. Learning this simple tricks would help to failure their emotions to the right way and ensure everyone gets to understand what is what as at each period. I like the use of artwork and numerals. Thanks

    1. I appreciate your comment Bella and am stoked to hear that you are engaging in conscious parenting and know the importance of nurturing the emotional aspects of the little people in your world.

      Thanks for the shout out about the graphics too!

      Cheers to you Bella!

      -Bex

  3. Wow I must say this is a very nice post and its importance can’t be over emphasized. Many kids do not have proper management or care for their emotions while growing up, and the absence of such care may later on affect the character and mental health of that child when they grow up. I love the fact that you took your time to put up this post. Every parent needs to read this post. Thanks for sharing 

  4. Wow, this is the best thing I have read in a very long time. I love the way you have discussed this issue of teaching kids how to strengthen their emotions. How you reach your son to use colours to distinguish between different feelings is very brilliant. I think that after reading this, I understand the importance of grooming emotions for a child. The activities listed here are really helpful to boost a child’s emotional understanding and also that of the intellect. I like the idea of yoga and meditation and also the counting exercise. Your post is divine and I’ll hope to see you teach some more topics.

    1. Wow John!

      What a glowing and tremendously supportive comment.  I appreciate your willingness to be so expressive and kind with your words.

      Thanks to you for your lovely comment.

      Much peace and prosperity,

      -Bex

  5. I love reading your article, I can relate with it. I have a toddler and sometimes I don’t know if I’m reacting much i front of her. I get very concious to what I should say or do infront of her because she easilt immitates what she sees. It’s true that they learn from us parents so we made a practice at home to talk with love and kindness.

    Sometimes my daughter is having tantrums, and I love your idea of color associating with emotions and the counting method. I will definitely introduce that to her. Thanks for this wonderful article.

    1. Hi Gillian,

      I really appreciate you sharing your own experience with your little one and am pleased to know that you understand the inherent value in supporting and healthy emotional intelligence in her development. Being conscious of yourself denotes awareness, which is hugely empowering.  

      I hope the introduction of colour association proves useful to you and your little lady and I send a sincere thanks to you for your comment.

      -Bex

  6. A great way to help nurture the emotions of ones kids you have stated here. First helping with the emotions of ones child would not only help them as they grow but also create a special bond between the child and the parents, because these kids then to love who gives them the attention and care while growing. I love the tips you have given here on how to help deal with the emotions of a child. 

  7. Interesting information to have been discovered from this article concerning modelling and tailoring our kids emotions through teaching using various approaches. I can say that I found the use of all these approaches very spot on. As adults, it is much more easier for us to just express whatever we feel in anyway possible that we know the others would be able to resonate well with us but when it comes to kids, it becomes another issue entirely.

    Though I’m not exactly that great with emotions and teaching it would be kind of difficult for me but then, bookmarking a post like this against later references would help a lot when I have my kids. Particularly, it would give me array of options to choose from in what way I choose to model my teaching on. I like the use of colour the most. Thanks

    Mattias

  8. Children are a parent’s creation, through and through. I know of some families who have a hard time working with one another, especially when the parents are having issues with their children. Sometimes, it was a matter of the parent not teaching them the proper lessons, which of course results with the child ‘misbehaving’. They’re only living how they were taught, so there shouldn’t be too much blame. 

    Great article!

  9. I am a parent of 2 pre teens and there are still times when I feel that I am not able to help my kids in their time of trouble. Sometimes I would think that everything has to do with discipline. Sometimes, it’s all about good talk and reminders about what they did. It also occurs to me that validating their emotion before making a decision on what they did is also a good way but I never knew that we should focus on this more than other aspects. Though I am not a type of mother who hit, yell or say derogatory words to my kids, I see myself as a bit strict. 

    Honestly, i can see that they are open to show their emotions. Reading this article made me realize that we can still improve our ways in dealing with emotion. It would really reflect in actions whatever emotions are felt, so it is better to know more of this aspect within ourselves. Validating emotion is now ringing through my ears. Thank you for this well explained article. It’s a big deal for parents to learn about things that matter to our family such as this. I’m gonna try out to read more about the website links that you also shared in your post. More power!

    1. Hi Missus!

      I think it is great to create boundaries and a high standard of good values, self and social responsibility, self appreciation and integrity.  It is important to nurture in all of us, as chiidren and adults, our emotional intelligence. It informs our experience to a great degree.

      It sounds to me like you are a conscious and invested Mama Bear!  The more you know, the further you go, so I commend you to being open to learning and expanding with your children as they do the same.

      Thank you for your engaging comment and all the very best to you and your little awesome humans.

      -Bex

  10. Hi, this is a great post with awesome graphics. As a qualified psychologist, you had me saying, yes, yes, yes and I see the value in your work being able to reach people at all levels of education and experience. The subject is very important and that showed clearly in the way you presented it. The only thing I didn’t like was using the letter U for You at the start of one of the headers. It looks as though you may have done it to prevent the header spilling onto another line. Personally I would edit the header slightly and use the complete word. Hope this helps and good luck. Steve C

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